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July 30, 2006

Conversations with the Bartender

My girlfriend attempts to order a cosmopolitan:

G: Can I have a cosmopolitan?
Bartender: No cranberry juice. I don't have anything red.

Later, my girlfriend attempts to order a mojito:
G: Can I have a mojito, please?
Bartender: Certainly! (Adds rum to cocktail shaker with ice, reaches for sugar.) It'll have to be without mint, though, is that all right?
G: (Puzzled stare). No. That's not all right.

What would a mojito be without mint, we both think? Basically a non-frozen daiquiri.

Later still, I attempt to order a manhattan:
Me: Can you make a manhattan?
Bartender: Sure, but not a very good one.
Me: Umm, okay.
Bartender: (Pours bourbon, ice cubes, in cocktail shaker. Looks around.) Drat! I'm out of triple sec. Sorry!
Me: (Stares in confusion, speechless).

Triple sec? In a manhattan? The only explanation I can think of is that there is some trendy new drink known as "Not a very good manhattan".



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